9 Passive-Aggressive Gifts for Someone You Dislike
One day you might find yourself in a situation where you are impelled to get a present for someone you dislike: peer pressure, Secret Santa, or simply an urge to troll. Gifts give us the opportunity to show how we feel about the other person and how much (or little) we care. So, if you have a sarcastic best friend, a frenemy, or a person you’ve always wanted to tell off, gifts are the perfect way to do it.
Remember: Honesty is always the best policy. However, there are different ways to go about being honest. Perhaps a good prank gift will diffuse the tension or cause some laughs. Telling someone you simply don’t like how you feel might take a big load off your chest. So, don’t think of this as being mean. Think of it as therapeutic.
Let’s start off with something that addresses your recipient’s intelligence, or lack thereof. To be fair the book is more than just about boiling water. It is a manual for kitchen basics for the inexperienced...or stupid. If you’re feeling extra hostile you might want to add these stickers to the package, warning them that boiled water might be hot.
If your recipient is too smart to be discouraged by an attack on their intelligence, you could always insult their appearance. A butt enhancement cream is guaranteed to plant some seeds of self-consciousness. You can top this off with some anti-cellulite treatment, antiperspirant deodorant, a hairbrush, and the ever classic soap.
This very convincingly designed fish pencil case will certainly send an anything-but-flattering message. The best part is that this pencil case is fishy inside out with a fleshy-looking interior. Also a great gift for disliked vegetarians and people who can’t stand seeing blood. Just delight in imagining them staring into a dead animal and having to fishout a pencil.
If you want your gift to be a little more explicit, try sending them a customized potato. Potato Parcel can have your customized message or a picture of a single face printed on a potato shipped. The perfect gift where you can let your creativity speak!
Some messages simply cannot be conveyed on the bumpy surface of a potato. If you want to express your negative feelings with a little more class, check out some of these lovely cross stitches at Grammy’s Shop. With any luck they will have to hang it in their house out of a sense of respect.
Send your disliked ones a card that plays music - forever. Once the card is taken out of the envelope that card will start playing an annoying musical card tune with no off switch. The Card That Never Ends will send your card anywhere in the world, anonymously.
What’s the best way to tell someone they should go to hell? Buying a ticket to somewhere that gets as close as you can, with no return ticket. With the worst intercity bus company you can come up with. To the furthest, remotest, most boring town you can think of.
This gift will steal your recipient’s time -time they will never get back- and toy with their feelings. Everybody gets excited about surprise packages. Imagine their annoyance at finding a box within a box, within another box and the complete disappointment of finding only a handful of peanuts at the end. And not even edible ones at that.
Last but not least, the gift that speaks louder than any words. What is better than getting nothing to a person you truly dislike? Really rubbing into their face that you are getting them nothing. This gift will show them just how much you care.